Advice, Features

Ask a Sexologist: All about orgasms

Our resident sexologist Richelle Menzies answers even more of your stickiest questions. This time, it’s all about orgasms!

Coming and going

I have some questions about orgasms in men and women.

Is it possible for women to have multiple orgasms when they reach climax for the first time in a single session? 

After they have their first orgasm, is it true that they take less time or less arousal to reach subsequent ones? 

Is it true that men or women should wait a while before orgasming again after the first time? If it’s true, would you please tell me how long we should wait and why?

– Curious About Coming

Dear Curious About Coming,

Yes, it is possible for some people to have multiple orgasms. Others find that one orgasm is enough, and they cannot have another for a period of time.

Each person’s body is different. For some, they can have more orgasms very quickly with continued stimulation as they are more sensitive. For others, this sensitivity needs to subside before having more orgasms. 

For most who have multiple orgasms, that can take less time as they are already aroused. 

There are some people for whom it may take longer as the type of stimulation needs to be different due to sensitivity or even less sensitivity from overstimulation.

There are no orgasm rules or ‘shoulds’ – each person will be different. 

Communicate, work out what works best for your and your partner’s body, and have fun. 

Don’t put pressure on to have multiple orgasms as some people just don’t and that’s okay.

Refractory periods

I’m a trans man who always used to be able to have multiple orgasms.

I’ve noticed since some time after beginning transition with testosterone that I don’t seem to be able to anymore – one seems to be my limit in a sitting.

Do you think this kind of change might be related to hormones? Do other trans guys acquire a refractory period?

– One Hit Wonder

Dear One Hit Wonder,

The effect of hormones can be similar or different for people. 

Some trans guys feel like horny teenagers, and others lose their libido. 

The impact of testosterone on sexual function can be variable, and it is not unusual for people to see a change.

Some people require a refractory period, not just cis or trans men, and it may or may not be related to hormones or just their sexual blueprint. 

Some people find that orgasm can take longer as they age or hormones change, and they may not be as intense, but the wave lasts longer.

Everyone is different and it’s all okay. The most important thing is… is it pleasurable and are you having fun?

Send your anonymous questions about sex, gender, and relationships to Ask a Sexologist.

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